Elena Valemarriage celebrant Enquire

Ceremonies · The full ceremony

Thirty minutes that take three months to write.

A ceremony written for the two of you, on any day of the week, for eleven guests or two hundred. Here’s everything that goes into it, and where the money goes.

$1,450Travel within 40 km of Northcote included.

Length
25 to 35 minutes
Guests and day
Any number, any day
Rehearsal
Included, within 40 km
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A bride in a veil laughing as she reads her vows from a small card to the groom, with climbing white roses behind them
Your own vows come straight after the legal ones.

Everything that’s included.

Most of the work happens before anyone sits down, which is why most of this list is about the months before. A $300 deposit holds your date. It’s non-refundable and comes off the total. The rest is due two weeks before the wedding.

Peak Saturdays cost the same as a Tuesday.

Before the day

  • A first chat, free. About an hour, in person around Melbourne or on a video call. If we suit each other, the deposit holds your date.
  • Your notice and all the paperwork. We fill in the Notice of Intended Marriage together, I witness it in person or by video, and I check your documents so nothing bounces later. It has to reach me at least a month before the wedding (and no more than 18 months), so find the last day your notice can reach me.
  • The separate meetings the law requires. Since June 2024 I have to meet each of you on your own, in person, before the wedding. It takes a few minutes with each of you, at our first in-person catch-up, the rehearsal or a short coffee before the day.
  • A questionnaire for each of you. A dozen questions, sent to each of you separately. Don’t compare notes; I’ll read you each other’s answers at the story session.
  • A story session. Ninety minutes over coffee in Northcote, or on video if you’re further away. This is where the script really comes from.
  • Drafts until it’s right. A full script to mark up, then another. Two or three rounds is normal, and I don’t count.
  • Help with your vows. A length guide (about a minute each, or roughly 150 words), prompts if you’re stuck, and a private read-through if you’d like one. I never show one person’s vows to the other.
  • A rehearsal. A weekday evening in the week before, at your venue if it’s within 40 km of Northcote. About 45 minutes on where everyone stands, when to walk and who hands over the rings.

On the day

  • Arriving 45 minutes early. To set up the sound, find your witnesses and have you both sign your declarations.
  • A PA that works outdoors. A speaker, wireless microphones (one for me, one for your readers) and Bluetooth for your music. It runs on battery, so it works in a paddock as well as a garden.
  • A signing table and two chairs. With a linen cloth, so it’s one less thing to ask your venue for.
  • A keepsake certificate. Signed on the day and yours to take home. Most organisations won’t accept it as proof of marriage; for that you need the BDM certificate below.
  • A backup celebrant. If I’m ever too sick to stand up, a celebrant I trust steps in with your script, and I tell you myself.

Afterwards

  • Lodgement with BDM Victoria. Within 14 days I lodge your paperwork with BDM Victoria, and they register the marriage. The official certificate, the one you need to change your name on a passport or licence, comes from BDM. I can order it for you (their fee plus postage), or you can do it yourself.
  • Unlimited emails. That includes the one at 11 pm asking whether Nan can do a reading after all.

What isn’t.

  • An MC for your reception. I don’t MC receptions, but I can recommend people who do.
  • Venue hire or park permits. Many Melbourne parks need a booking, and plenty ban confetti. I’ll tell you what to check; the booking is yours.
  • Guest chairs, an arbour or styling. Your venue or a hire company looks after those.
  • The BDM certificate fee. $59.10 as at October 2026, paid to Births, Deaths and Marriages Victoria, not me. Fees change each financial year.

Legal details on this page are general information only. Check bdm.vic.gov.au or ag.gov.au for the current rules.

How I run a 3 pm ceremony.

A Saturday at three o’clock with about ninety guests. Yours will shift around: more readings, a ring warming, a dog in a bow tie. The parts marked legal are the ones the law requires, and they stay in this order.

Black and white photograph of a just-married couple with their foreheads together, eyes closed, smiling, in a garden
Somewhere around 3.23 pm.
  1. I arriveI set up the speaker and the signing table, then go and find your witnesses and whoever is holding the rings.
  2. Declarations (legally required)Each of you signs the Declaration of No Legal Impediment in front of me, somewhere quiet. Separately, if you’re not seeing each other before the aisle.
  3. Guests seatedUshers (or me) coaxing people into the front rows. Nobody ever wants the front rows.
  4. HousekeepingPhones away, toilets pointed out, and the confetti rules if your venue has any.
  5. ProcessionalSome couples walk in together, some with a parent, some one after the other. Your music, cued from my speaker.
  6. Welcome and Acknowledgement of CountryA proper welcome, then an acknowledgement of the Traditional Owners of the land we’re standing on. I check whose Country it is for every venue, rather than guessing.
  7. Your storyHow you met, what you’re like together, the bits your friends will recognise. About six minutes.
  8. A readingA friend or a sibling, two or three minutes. I’ll help them find something that isn’t Corinthians, unless you want Corinthians.
  9. The legal words (legally required)The paragraph every civil celebrant in Australia has to say. I say it word for word, and the last sentence never changes. About thirty seconds.
  10. The asking“Will you…?” “I will.” It’s lovely and it’s optional, but it can’t stand in for your legal vows.
  11. Your vows (legally required)First the legal vows, which I feed you a line at a time. Then your own words, if you’ve written some.
  12. RingsA line or two each. A four-year-old ring bearer is a gamble, so I keep a backup plan in my pocket.
  13. Pronouncement, then the kissI tell everyone you’re married, then there’s a short pause while they work out they’re allowed to cheer.
  14. Signing, with music (legally required)You, your two witnesses and me, three certificates. Two songs’ worth, while your photographer gets the photo everyone gets.
  15. PresentationI introduce you however you’d like to be introduced, by your names or just as “these two”.
  16. RecessionalBack down the aisle together, to a song you’ve chosen.
  17. Photos with familyIf your photographer would like, I read the family list out on the microphone, so they aren’t shouting names across the lawn.

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How the writing works.

Six steps over about three months, and very little homework for you. You’ll read every word I say before I say it.

A small cream vow booklet with deckled edges, tied with a dark red velvet ribbon, on a stone surface beside a white rose
Vows read best from paper. I bring a printed copy of yours on the day.
  1. About three months out

    The questionnaire

    I send each of you the same dozen questions, separately, and ask you not to compare notes. Most people take about an hour (a glass of something helps). The places your answers meet, and the places they don’t, are where the best lines come from.

  2. A week or two later

    The story session

    Coffee in Northcote, or a video call, for about ninety minutes. I start by reading you each other’s questionnaire answers. Then you tell me the stories that didn’t fit in a text box. I check how to say everyone’s names, and I ask what you’d hate me to mention. That list matters as much as the other one.

  3. About eight weeks out

    Draft one

    A full script, word for word, usually five or six pages. Not an outline. It has the legal wording, the order of everything, who stands where and the moment your reader stands up.

  4. The week after

    Your notes

    Comments on the PDF are fine, and so is a printout photographed on the kitchen bench. Cross out anything you like; you won’t hurt my feelings.

  5. About five weeks out

    Draft two

    Your notes go in and the script comes back. Some couples are done here; most want one more pass, and draft three is usually the one. Your personal vows stay separate, and private if you’d prefer.

  6. At the rehearsal

    Reading it out loud

    I read the whole thing through in the space, at ceremony volume. Anything that looked fine on paper but sounds clunky out loud gets fixed that night. On the day I read from a plain black folder.

What the questionnaire looks like.

For Jordan only · an excerpt

When did you know this was serious?
When she let me drive her car. She doesn’t let anyone drive her car. Her brother has asked for six years.
Open the story with this. Check the brother is coming.
What’s something small they do that nobody else notices?
Warms up my side of the bed in winter, then pretends she didn’t.
Mei wrote the same thing about Jordan. Use both.
Is there anything you’d hate me to mention?
The karaoke. Please.

A page from a first draft, with my notes in red.

“Neither of us is a writer, so we were nervous about the drafts, but Elena made it easy. She read the whole script out loud at our rehearsal and fixed a couple of lines that didn’t sound right in the space. On the day everything ran to time, and so many of our guests asked who our celebrant was.”

R & K, Mornington Peninsula
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Things couples worry about.

All questions
How much of our time does it take?

On the day, 25 to 35 minutes from the first note of your processional to the last of the recessional, plus five for the usual late start. Signing is about five of those minutes.

Before the day, about six hours of your time over a few months: an hour for the first chat, an hour each on the questionnaire, ninety minutes for the story session, an hour or two on drafts, and 45 minutes at the rehearsal. For me it’s closer to twenty, which is most of where the $1,450 goes.

Do we have to write our own vows?

No. The legal vows are all the law asks for, and some couples stop there. If you’d like to add your own, I send a length guide (about a minute each) and a few prompts, and I’ll read them through with each of you privately. Two honest sentences each is enough.

Can it be funny?

Yes, if you are. I taught drama for eleven years, so I know where a laugh goes and how long to wait for it. Every joke gets checked with both of you, and anything about family gets run past whoever it’s about.

The legal words stay straight. Everything else can be as light as you like. Most of my ceremonies have three or four proper laughs and one moment where somebody’s dad has to look hard at his shoes.

Can we include a tradition from one of our families?

Yes. A handfasting, a ring warming, a blessing or a reading in another language all fit around the legal parts. Tell me at the first chat, and I’ll ask whoever knows it best how it’s done and how to say every word properly. If a part needs to be in a language I don’t speak, a family member can lead it.

We’re marrying more than 40 km from Northcote. What changes?

Only the travel, which I quote before you book. I marry couples across Melbourne, the Yarra Valley, the Mornington Peninsula, the Dandenongs and further afield. If a weekday rehearsal at your venue isn’t practical, we agree how to do it when you book.

Tell me the date, and where you’ll be standing at three o’clock.

I reply within two working days. If you’re torn between this and something smaller, say so, and I’ll tell you which one fits.

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